So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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