so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize