Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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