Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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