He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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