We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize