The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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