YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize