you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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