We won't sleep together?
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize