I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
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still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
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Send help, water and tortillas.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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