This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize