Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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