im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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