tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize