i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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