Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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