I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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