a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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