worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
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theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
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HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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