nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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