If i come over, it means nothing
do herpes really smell.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
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She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
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I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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