My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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