I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
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I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
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I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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