im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
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