You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize