Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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