just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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