I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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