just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize