Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize