laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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