"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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