remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize