dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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