I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize