How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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