The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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