p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
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I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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