what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
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I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
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I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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