just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
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Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
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EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
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