I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Reggie can tackle my bush.
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
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official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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