Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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