i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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