I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Quick, to the slutcave!
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
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I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
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The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
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