Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
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You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
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Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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