my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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