Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I cut my penus on the lid.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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