there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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