Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
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Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
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As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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