I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize